Between Seasons - Turning Inward

"The Dance Between Seasons," 24x18", oil on linen panel, 2022

"The Dance Between Seasons" is the first truly quiet painting I’ve made this year. It conveys a sense of rest and introspection, even with the bright reds and "dancing" leaves. It's a slow dance.

In my previous post, I talked about being drawn away from the desert, and towards the water. Water gives life, and it is full of movement and music. The ocean is not quiet. After a year of making paintings that are overtly exuberant, outward-focused, colorful, and energetic, this new piece is a welcome change of pace. My personality is such that I am naturally inclined to turn inward. But even with this natural tendency for introspection, I'm realizing that I too often deny that part of myself in a valiant (?) effort to save face and to be everything for everyone--to put others' needs and desires above my own. It’s how I was conditioned, and it’s a good thing until it causes resentment or burnout.

I began "The Dance" during a season so frantic, I didn’t really have any business starting a new painting. Yet it was one of those times where I felt a deep compulsion--an actual need--to do this thing. If I didn't follow through, I knew I’d be missing out on a necessary piece of the "puzzle" that is my journey as an artist. I was between commissions and between travels. We had enjoyed a spectacular fall, but I was busy with kids and life obligations.

I started it anyway. One afternoon I cut the maple branches from a small tree in our back yard. I plucked the rogue dahlias from my dwindling garden, and set up a green pumpkin that I'd collected on a trip to the pumpkin patch with the kids. The candle was a necessary addition. I played around with several different arrangements, but the elements seemed to fall into place in a dramatic diagonal, and that composition just felt right.

In the afternoon north light of my studio, I began. It was so dark I could barely see what I was doing, but I loved the mood of the setup so much that I refused to alter it in favor of more light.

All too soon I was called away. I found out that my grandmother had passed away, and the funeral was taking place just one day before I was meant to depart for Rochester, NY to teach a workshop.

My travels were outward-focused. Time spent with family, reminiscing about Grandma Joyce, and grieving together. Then, going straight from there to my workshop, and teaching 15 eager students for three days. It was an incredible experience - in fact, my first workshop in nearly five years--and a smashing success.

But upon returning from the funeral, and the workshop… I came back to a family that needed me, bathrooms that needed cleaning, laundry that needed washing, a fridge and pantry that needed to be restocked...

...And this painting.

I didn't even know what I needed. But that intuitive side of me, that artist within, was quietly inviting me inward as soon as circumstances allowed, to sort through the thoughts and emotions still swirling around unacknowledged.

Over the span of several afternoons, this painting became a meditation. It was a conduit for me to process my emotions and to find peace. I listened to the soundtrack I had made for Grandma’s funeral—the one that ultimately never got played because everything seemed to happen so fast and in the blink of an eye, we were all driving away from the burial site--a picturesque little German cemetary, with the leaves all falling down and covering the gravestones like a burial shroud--and then we were moving on with our busy lives.

So I thought about her while I painted, I celebrated her life, and I rejoiced with her that she is no longer suffering but is home at last.

In Remembrance of Joyce Recknagel, December 29,1925 - October 22, 2022

I'm thankful for this painting because it gave me what I needed in this chapter of my life. I am so very thankful for art, and the surprising ways it can bring healing or joy without us even realizing.

After seeing "The Dance" on Facebook, a friend shared the following with me. I thought it fit perfectly and described my feelings about the work better than I ever could. So here it is.

The winter solstice time is no longer celebrated as it once was, with the understanding that this is a period of descent and rest, of going within our homes, within ourselves and taking in all that we have been through, all that has passed in this full year which is coming to a close... like nature and the animal kingdom around us, this time of hibernation is so necessary for our tired limbs, our burdened minds.

Our modern culture teaches avoidance at a max at this time; alcohol, lights, shopping, overworking, over spending, comfort food and consumerism.

And yet the natural tug to go inwards as nearly all creatures are doing is strong and the weather so bitter that people are left feeling that winter is hard, because for those of us without burning fires and big festive families, it can be lonely and isolating. Whereas in actual fact winter is kind, she points us in her quiet soft way towards our inner self, towards this annual time of peace and reflection, embracing the darkness and forgiving, accepting and loving embracing goodbye the past year.

"Winter takes away the distractions, the buzz, and presents us with the perfect time to rest and withdraw into a womb like love, bringing fire & light to our hearth".

.. and then, just around the corner the new year will begin again, and like a seed planted deep in the earth, we will all rise with renewed energy once again to dance in the sunlight.
Life is a gift a Happy winter to you all...

Written by Bridget Anna McNeil

Reposted from Juno's Place

Painting the Oregon Coast, September 2022

Once in a while, we artists need to get out of our studios and re-ignite our creativity with a bit of carefree adventure. I've written about many the solo trips I've done in the past (like Moab, Joshua Tree, and Death Valley), and why they were so beneficial for me, especially at this chapter of my life (aka mom of small children). But, I don't want these posts to come across as complaints about my life. Nor do I wish to brag about how often I travel. I am surely grateful for my life as a mother, and for the opportunity to do these painting trips whenever I can. I hope more than anything that they inspire my artist friends and followers to do the same. Art is taxing. Art making is the very act of pouring out oneself, and as a result, it is crucial that we refill our tank on a regular basis.  

For me, I discovered in the past that going on solo trips to the desert was what I needed to recharge. I was drawn to the desert because I wanted to be completely alone, in places undefiled by crowds, where I could let my mind wander and where no one needed me, and where I could meditate, paint, and explore the wide open spaces. 

This time was different. Maybe, it signals a shift in my life trajectory--a new chapter, of sorts. I don't know if it's because my kids are a bit older... or if it's because I dealt with a lot of my stuff through the summer with a mental toughness program I took on. Or, maybe it's because I'm learning how to manage my stress better every day, so I can be more open to the world around me without only focusing on one immediate crisis after another. Who knows...

Self reflection aside, the biggest reasons for this trip being different are obvious. First, I went with my twin sister and best friend, Emily Olson, who is an accomplished watercolorist and a professional Youtuber. Second, we went somewhere that was opposite those desert escapes: the Oregon coast. Third, instead of needing the first couple of days to "recover" from my life back home, I found that I had energy enough to paint, explore, and take in that inevitable sensory overload--every day of our trip. 

Emily is the only person I can be with for six days straight and never get tired of. We just completely get each other, and because we were both on a mission to make art, it was easy to go with the flow, while helping and accommodating each other along the way. For example, Emily had centered this entire trip around visiting the Samuel Boardman Scenic Corridor and the many state parks that can be found along that stretch of Hwy 101. She had a couple places in particular she wanted to visit, and she had a self portrait in mind that she needed me to shoot the photos for. I was more than happy to oblige (and maybe will do a painting or two from that shoot, myself!). She, in turn, was willing to diverge from our plan a little bit when we realized our hotel was just half an hour from one of the redwoods state parks in northern California. Um... yes, please! 

This time... I was drawn to the woods and the water. The atmosphere created by the ocean surf was nothing short of magical. The sound of the waves became like a familiar friend, and provided an unceasing soundtrack for our journey up the coast. 

I came back with 8...well, more like 7 1/2 (long story...) paintings. I felt accomplished, rejuvenated, and excited for all the new studio paintings I will start, that this trip inspired.    

You can view more pictures and videos of this epic adventure on my Instagram page, @annarose_artist! 

Emily made a fantastic video highlighting her watercolor painting experience on this trip. I highly recommend you watch it, and subscribe to her channel! Meanwhile, I will have a full length instructional video of one of my coastal paintings coming very soon, so be watching for that. It's going to be FREE on my YouTube channel, so please subscribe to mine too, please! :-)

And let us know where you think our next epic twin trip should be... we are taking suggestions for next year. ;-) 

75 Hard Days of Summer

I’m sharing a personal post today, and not necessarily art-centered (although really it’s ALL related). So bear with me!

Yesterday I successfully completed a 75-day challenge called “75 Hard.”

The rules are:

1) Stick to a diet of your choosing (I chose to do no dairy or gluten, and mostly meat, fish, fruits and veggies, plus no eggs because of current food sensitivities). Absolutely no alcohol or cheat meals are allowed

2) Complete two 45-minute workouts per day (one of them has to be outside, no matter the weather)

3) Drink a gallon of water each day.

4) Read 10 pages of a nonfiction book (audio books don’t count).

5) Take a daily progress photo.

Fail and you have to start over at the beginning…



You are probably asking, Anna, why would you do something so extreme? Well… I had a number of reasons.

First, both of my kids were home with me for the summer, especially my 3-year-old. So I knew I would have extremely limited painting time anyway. But with the daily workouts, I could include my kids, or take them with me to the gym. Having them with me in the studio is NOT so easy. And I knew the weather would be better this time of year than any other time, so why not now? Second, I’ve had a number of personal challenges to overcome this year, and 75 Hard presented itself as a chance for me to do something I could control, while managing my feelings over all the things I can’t control. Third, I honestly knew I could use improvement in all of these areas… although I felt that a whole gallon of water was a bit extreme for my 5’ 4” frame. And, I also thought the daily progress photo was dumb but I accepted the fact that it was all part of the mental challenge and learning how to develop a new set of daily habits. Fourth… perhaps it was a matter of pride. I overheard my coach (who was the first person in our fitness community to take this on, and is now doing it all over again!) saying to someone else, “Anna would do it.” He didn’t say, “Anna should do it”, or “Anna could do it.” He said, she would do it. That simple difference of wording implied that I had the capability and the strength to do this hard thing. It gave me that extra push to believe in myself because someone else already does.

75 Hard is a mental toughness challenge, not necessarily a nutrition or fitness challenge. Throughout, I did a lot of Crossfit, yes… but for my second daily workout, I did yoga or most often went for a walk around our neighborhood lake. I found that the hardest part of this challenge was staying consistent when I travelled—and I travelled a LOT this summer! During the course of the challenge we had two different week-long family vacations, and I had four different weekend art getaways/events that I went to. I’m not much of a drinker anyway, but it can be tough when everyone around you is sipping wine at an art opening, or when your own family and friends try to talk you out of doing the challenge. The were quite a few times when the family wanted pizza or takeout, so I had to make myself a separate meal. And, about two weeks into the challenge, I found that I was losing weight at an alarming rate (I don’t need to lose weight)… so I had to increase my calorie intake dramatically. I learned that I had to plan out each day in advance to figure out the best use of my time, and the best way to get it all done without imposing on my family. I didn’t do this perfectly, but as things progressed, my husband got better at supporting me and I got better at balancing my daily tasks.



Above: I spent a weekend painting on the grounds of the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs. Below: painting in Malibu during a trip to attend the opening of the California Art Club Gold Medal Exhibition.



Below: at the opening of the CAC Gold Medal Exhibition. I made lots of new friends… but did not drink any wine!



So here’s the part you guys want to know about. Was it worth it?

Well, I was pleasantly surprised by my results.

· Overall health: I’m convinced all the water and the sunshine prevented me from getting sick all summer. The regular movement through daily walks and CrossFit actually healed my lower back, which has been strained and limited for almost a year.

· Mental health: I solved problems while out on those walks and came back happier and more capable of being there for my family.

· Appearance and other: The progress photos… well, they were up and down (because that’s what it is to be a woman!). My appearance didn’t change that much, since I was already eating pretty clean and working out regularly before. I did get a bit more toned and lost some body fat, but the real transformation has been in how I feel. No more back pain, no more energy plateaus, no more stomach issues. My confidence has soared. I feel more capable of handling stressful situations. I look forward to the 10 pages of reading every day, and I feel mentally sharper and more educated because of it (duh).



While my body got harder, my heart gradually got softer, especially on those walks. During the second half of the challenge I ditched the headphones and the audio books I was listening to, and I opted to take in all the sights and sounds, and to use that time to pray and meditate. I saw so many things I would have not noticed before. There was a pair of white ducks, who swam around the lake together like a waltzing couple, inseparable and in love. I saw a kingfisher eating a fish up in a tree, and of course there were the numerous Canada geese who seemed to be my constant companions. The lake I circled each day became like an old friend as its many moods and changing expressions grew familiar to me, yet always exciting and beautiful. I found myself storing up lots of painting ideas in my mind.

Some of the many amazing scenes I saw during my daily walks.

I wanted to work towards a couple of personal goals: one being, to model as an athlete for my art group and take on a challenging pose. Another was to pose for photos (I collaborated with my friend Sara Long – she is a great photographer!). I am always doing photo shoots of other people, helping them look amazing, and finding potential paintings everywhere I go. But I wanted this just for me. I want my daughter to see these photos someday and be inspired to take on challenges of her own, to prove to herself that she is strong and capable just like her momma!

Above: I held this pose for 3 1/2 hours(with breaks of course… and eventually switched to a broom instead of a barbell). It was very challenging, but fun to see all the cool paintings and drawings that resulted by my talented friends!

I’m still blown away by these photos by Sara Long (Long Shots Photography). 

So, when did I find time to paint this summer? Only occasionally. But I realize that it’s a season, and a short one at that. Before long the kids will be back at school, and I’ll be looking at our summer adventures in the rear view mirror. I’ve delighted in getting to know them both as they grow up before my eyes, so I’m glad that I could be present with them in body and heart. 

Above: we took a 5-day trip to west Texas (Possum Kingdom Lake) in June with my twin sister and their family. It was so joyous seeing the cousins together making memories! This trip was especially hard for me to continue with 75 hard simply because it got SO hot everyday, but I prevailed! 

The good news is, this time “off” from painting has only made me more hungry. I’m ready to get back at it with full gusto, as soon as I can. I’m also ready to go back to being the one behind the easel and the camera. Modeling was fun and all… but, I think I prefer being the artist. ;-)

Whether or not you take on a crazy challenge like this, I think it’s in our best interest and that of our loved ones, to be intentional about practicing mindfulness every day, and being fully present in every moment. Life is all about choices and the effort we put into cultivating our values. I’ve realized that taking care of my body has only benefited my mind my relationships and my art. There were a few workouts especially at the beginning of the challenge where I just checked out and grit my teeth, counting down the minutes till I was finished. I realize now that those were missed opportunities… or perhaps, just growing pains, and all part of the mental toughness piece. I’m thankful for the big and small lessons I learned from this challenge. But now, I’m ready for that hard-earned donut. ;-)



Books I read and/or listened to during this challenge:

Endurance: Shackleton’s Incredible Voyage to the Antarctic by Alfred Lansing : if you think 75 hard looks impossible, read this book. Humans are capable of more than we know.

Short Nights of the Shadow Catcher by Timothy Egan – inspiring story about Edward Curtis, who set out to photograph ALL of the North American Indian tribes in the early 1900’s before they died off. This man sacrificed everything for the work.

Gifted Hands by Ben Carson – wonderful autobiography about an inner city kid who became a life-saving pediatric neurosurgeon.

Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow – I’m blown away by this guy’s accomplishments and how much he did to shape our country during his short life.

The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom – another book that gives us perspective; there is much to be learned from Corrie about faith, gratitude, and God’s awesome provision.

The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas are Setting up a Generation for Failure by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt – I think the title says it all, ha!

Transformed into Fire by Judith Hougen – doing this book with my Bible study group and learning so much about what it means to take hold of our true identity in Christ.

Gold Medal Winner for "King of The Wild Things": Behind the Scenes and How it Feels to Win GOLD

Last month, I was honored to receive two awards for my painting, "King of the Wild Things," at the 31st Annual Oil Painters of America National Juried Exhibition and Convention. Not only was my painting voted to receive "Members' Choice," but it was also given the highest honor: the gold medal! This year's juror was two-time gold medalist Johanna Harmon, who is one of my favorite painters and someone I look up to. And this award... well, it's one I've been chasing for quite a few years. It was one of those boxes I always hoped to check, but very few artists ever get to. 

Needless to say, I've been on cloud nine for the past month.

Lots of you have been asking about this painting -- the inspiration and story behind it, how I created this piece, and of course, what it was like to win a gold medal!

So today I thought I'd share everything I can about "King of the Wild Things" and how this painting came to be.

 "King of the Wild Things," 30x30", oil on linen (private collection). Frame by Masterworks Frames.

I started the painting last fall. It followed closely on the heels of a painting I had done of my daughter, called "A Child Will Lead Them." That idea had been strongly ingrained in my mind's eye for a long time, and so was the idea for "King of the Wild Things." Both images involved children as the central subject, and wild animals to help create a narrative. Both ideas were also based on children's literature. In this case, I was inspired partly by the watercolor paintings of Steve Hanks depicting children in Halloween costumes, but of course the larger idea is borrowed from Maurice Sendak's classic children's book, "Where the Wild Things Are." I felt like the story of young Max, who seeks to exert his independence and create a kingdom of his own, is relatable to all of us.  On a more personal note: my 3-year-old son Everett--the model for this painting--is at a stage where he is doing just that. He pushes every boundary, fights me on every decision, and wants so badly to be his own person, or simply, to do whatever he wants! I love him so, yet this has been one of the hardest chapters of my life as a parent. He was actually kicked out of his preschool this past April, so I've had him home with me all summer. He is a special boy, with a journey of his own that we are navigating together. This painting was my own way of acknowledging the joy and the struggle of raising a son.

In my original concept for the painting, I envisioned him being full length, with a large bear looming behind him. The bear might symbolize both a protector, and the boy's own independent spirit. But after playing around with lots of compositional ideas in Photoshop, I concluded that it would be more personal and intimate of an encounter, if I cropped him halfway, placed him center stage looking directly at the viewer, and made the animals less prominent. They still have a "watchful guardian" quality to them which I enjoy, but you almost don't notice them until you've already spent some time examining the painting. 

I wanted Everett's expression to be a mixture of audacity and vulnerability. I also wanted to show the beauty of letting a child be free in their element. Let them play with sticks, let them get dirty, let them be bored so they can use their imagination. These moments are gone in an instant. For the reference photos of Everett in his "Max" costume, we had driven an hour and a half into the Rocky Mountains last October. We parked the car and I just let him run through the woods. By the end of the photo shoot he was covered in leaves and dirt, and it was PERFECT.

I was fortunate enough to get some excellent reference photos among the mountain aspens, so thankfully I didn't have to change a whole lot in my composition, other than moving a few trees around, and adjusting some values. The bright sky gave Everett some backlighting, and helped create a design that was predominantly dark, but with the sky and Everett's body as the main lights. 

As for the animals... I didn't have any reference photos I could use that I had taken myself. I ended up Googling "wildlife cam photos," and found lots of great--albeit mostly black and white, or fuzzy--shots of animals coming towards the camera. I didn't need them to be perfect; I just needed them to work for the pose and expression I was looking for. In the end I changed all the colors and values to suit the painting and to make them feel like they belonged in the scene. I also "reversed" a couple of them in Photoshop, so that they were positioned exactly how I wanted them.

After the painting was finished last fall, I let it hang in my home for a while. I knew I wanted to save it for something special. With so little time to paint these days, I have had to be smarter and more selective about the number of shows I enter. And as I mentioned in my last post... the deadlines tend to happen all at the same time! I decided to save "King of the Wild Things" for the Oil Painters of America National Exhibition. Sure enough... it got in, and it sold to a collector before they even hung it on the museum walls! 

The exhibition and convention this year was held in Steamboat Springs, CO, just three hours from our home. My family and I spent the week out there and had a wonderful time; I painted in the wet paint competition, and got to see many old friends and acquaintances. I enjoyed giving a portrait demonstration alongside my dear friend Raj Chaudhury. I also got to meet one of my favorite authors, Ross King, who gave a delightful presentation about Monet during the four-day convention. 

The opening reception and awards ceremony were held Friday, June 3. That was when I saw my painting in the museum for the first time, and I was stunned by how prominently they had displayed it, and how perfectly it was lit. The painting looked amazing!

With my painting, and my family, at the opening reception.

Everett was in meltdown mode...

Cecelia felt a bit jealous of all the attention Everett was getting...

OPA is notable for being incredibly generous with the number of awards they give out, and for their top awards being some of the most financially substantial of any American arts organization.  They are also a group that unabashedly aims to give women artists plenty of opportunities to attain board positions, OPA Master status, or to jury shows and win awards in regional and national exhibitions. In fact, the top three winners of this year's competition were all women! You can see the full list of award winners here.

When my name was called to receive "Member's Choice," I remember feeling like I could truly go home happy, because getting voted for by my peers is the highest honor! I did not anticipate any further awards. However, when the very last award was announced and they said my name, I was completely overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. 

As a mom, this year has been an especially challenging season of life to find time and energy for painting, much less for creating works of art that are exceptional. So winning the gold medal felt like the biggest affirmation of my career, and it was even better knowing that my children were involved in the process. I didn't win in spite of them; I won because of them.

Sporting my gold medal, alongside OPA President Suzie Baker, and awards juror Johanna Harmon.

That being said... if you are a fellow artist, I hope in reading this you will be inspired, not discouraged. Let's face it, most of us spend long hours in our studios, out of the public eye, with no real idea whether or not our work will resonate with collectors or awards jurors. But I think that's what makes being an artist so special - you do the work because you have to, you are compelled to -- it's an extension of yourself and your spirit. I want to encourage you, especially if you're an artist mama like me... to keep painting for shows and competitions, and to paint with intention. You never know.  A painting that doesn't get accepted to one show, might win the top award at another. We have to celebrate our successes no matter how big or small, because art is a tough career choice. And a win for an artist is a win for ART and its priceless contribution to a world that is in dire need of beauty.

HUGE THANKS to all of you who voted for me, congratulated me, and celebrated with me. It means more to me than you'll ever know. Thank you!

Below: please enjoy this little clip from the Denver morning local news, which aired July 4, 2022. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to represent Denver artists, artist mothers, and Oil Painters of America! 

Being an Over-Acheiver is Overrated

"Taking Flight" - 30x24" - oil on linen (2022) by Anna Rose Bain

In these past ten weeks since Christmas, I have completed seven paintings… almost eight.

That's a lot. And they weren't just average paintings. I really needed for them to be great paintings (whether they are or not is certainly up for debate).

When people ask, “How do you do it all?,” my acheiver personlity kicks in and I might be tempted to say, “Oh, you know I love my job! Work is easy when you love it.” And that may be true, but it isn’t the whole truth.

To be honest, I have been stressed out of my mind. I’m frustrated with my work. I don’t even want to go back into my studio after spending so many hours in there lately (it's also cold... so my little space heater and the UGGs my sister gave me have been lifesavers :-)).

Last week there were three days when I needed to take naps and I mean… I crashed HARD.

In the midst of all my “achieving”, I’ve been dealing with:

• A toddler who is having behavioral issues at school and home. 
• A husband who is also very busy and stressed right now
• Hosting family over New Year’s. 
• Finishing several commissioned paintings
• Cooking all our meals because I have developed so many food sensitivities.
• Trying to get to the gym almost every day. 
• Celebrating my birthday with my twin sister (and feeling guilty for taking a day off). 
• Cleaning up countless piles of puppy messes, doing countless loads of laundry, negotiating with kids over food they refuse to eat and naps they refuse to take…
• Side projects like video and photography for my gym (okay this is just fun, but it's also time consuming).

Yes, we got a puppy! She is a black and white English Springer Spaniel--currently about 15 weeks old and a major handful--but she has been a fun addition to our family. I love this photo I was able to capture of her with my son Everett.

I did cut out some things from my schedule in order to make more time for my husband and kids especially during evenings and weekends. I have stopped regularly attending my weekly painting group. This has been a hard sacrifice for me, as I can usually justify everything I do because they are all good and wholesome things. 

But sometimes it’s all just too much. Sometimes no matter how busy you are you just need to take a long walk in the sunshine. Sometimes you need to sit down on the couch and snuggle with your toddler while they watch Elmo. Sometimes you just need to listen attentively to your daughter and entertain her long monologues about all the dreams she had the night before or how silly the boys in her class are. Sometimes you just need to call a friend or your parents or a sibling and catch up no matter how inconvenient the timing is. And sometimes, no matter how good you are at “doing it all”, you have to admit that maybe you’ve bit off more than you can chew, and apologize to the ones you love who’ve had to suffer as you attempted to climb a mountain that was maybe just a little too high. That’s what the last 10 weeks have been for me.

All that to say… 

If it looks like someone you follow on social media “has it all together”… guess what? They don’t! And that’s ok. Because each of us only has 24 hours in the day and it’s the quality that matters, not quantity. 

"Fuschia and Pale Roses" - 9x12" - oil on linen mounted aluminum (2022)